Just be yourself.
That’s advice you hear all the time isn’t it?
But what if the ‘yourself’ that stands in front of a group of people to speak is so nervous, you spend most of the time in the toilet thinking you’re going to puke (or worse)?
What if the yourself that has to cold call a potential client gets so worked up, you lose the connection between your thoughts and your brain, and are unable to speak.
Or the ‘yourself’ in meetings that’s always shouted over, who’s opinion just doesn’t seem to be of value to the rest of the group.
Being ‘yourself’ doesn’t make sense.
The problem with this kind of thinking is it assumes ‘yourself’ is your behaviour. You are more than your behaviours, you’re more than where you live or how other people identify you.
There’s not one version of ‘you’. You have so many identities, so many ‘yourself’s’ depending on the context.
And there isn’t an unchanging version of ‘yourself’. Look back on the last 5 years of your life and see how much you’ve changed.
What version of ‘yourself’ works in what context?
Now go back to times when you felt you were the ‘best’ versions of yourself. Maybe the ‘yourself’ you are with your close friends, or the ‘yourself’ with people you love, or the ‘yourself’ when you absolutely nail that piece of work. Do that right now…
How does that feel? Notice what’s different?
Notice how that ‘yourself’ is different from the ‘yourself’ that shits itself when faced with a challenge outside of your comfort zone? What are you doing differently?
So what can you do in those ‘out of your comfort zone’ moments?
Be different. Think differently, breathe differently, believe different things.
Before that big presentation, imagine that the group are your friends. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly. Believe that you’re going to nail it. And go for it.
Try these things on. See what fits. See what works. Do different. Be different.
You can’t help but be ‘yourself’. So choose to be the version of ‘yourself’ that gets you the outcome you want.
PS> We run courses on how to communicate with authenticity.